It’s been a week tonight since the policeman knocked on the door and changed our lives.
A week of worry, and suspension of the normal to accommodate the unexpected and traumatic fact of the accident that could so easily have been fatal, but blessedly wasn’t.
Sima garo provides. That’s become more and more a part of my thought patterns over the last several days.
I can’t say that we’ve found a routine, exactly, the children, Jim, and I.
We do, though, seem to have rediscovered the flow of life, and to be moving, more or less, along with it. I have seen Jim every day – until yesterday. He decided, earlier in the week, that he wanted his beloved bike to come home. I think that’s vital to his mourning process – and he wants to know, for himself, if this machine he has spent years in intimate familiarity with can be saved. He needs to do his own grieving, letting go, or recommitting.
And so I called the tow company, and arrangements were made, at a price we can pay….
And the bike didn’t come. I’m finishing my coffee now, and will then call and try to find out why. We were told it would be here yesterday afternoon or evening, and we waited, missing the hospital visiting hours in doing so…..
I’m a little angry, and a lot frustrated. Coping with this new reality has been possible in large part because I could see Jim everyday, see the advances and retreats of his recovery, and reassure myself that, on the whole, he is getting and feeling much better.
I feel as though I unintentionally abandoned him, and that leaves me a bit rudderless and out of sorts. I’m trying to breathe through it and relax- it’s not affecting the kids much, because they’ve been on an every-other-day schedule, and saw Daddy looking far better – even walking in the hospital halls! – on Friday.
I’m feeling better. There was a rational reason. The tow guy had a call, and returned from it at a time he felt was too late to intrude upon our lives. He couldn’t know that I was up until 6am! The bike should be here, soon, and then we can go see Jim.
Hooray! The bike is here…..not as horribly damaged as I thought it would be. The faring Jim finally got on (after years of waiting and trying) a couple of months ago was destroyed, as was his trunk. The bike itself l0oks better than I thought it would. I think Jim will be relieved when he sees it…. I went out and took some pictures so I can show them to him. later. I don’t know all the angles that would be most useful, but I can give him at least a general sense of how it looks.
Another day has passed, and yesterday’s rambling has given way – albeit a day late – to today’s sense of purpose. So now, without further delay, I will itemize what I have done toward my writing goals since Wednesday:
Round of Words 80 Goals Progress – Round 1, 2012:
2011-2012 Second Quarter Reports – March 1, 2012
- Jeremiah’s report was submitted, ahead of schedule, shortly before Jim’s crash.
- Annalise’s report was completed and sent by email a few moments ago….
- Which means that this goal has been attained, and, with the exception of yet another letter explaining that his continued insistence that Annalise is required to take standardized tests this year has no basis in New York State law, I will not need to submit any further paperwork until June 1. YIPPEE!!!
- I have completed Chapter 19, and am now 1829 words into Chapter 20, “Nockatee”.
- A character integral to Tisira’s climactic events has been introduced. I am definitely now on course for the commencement of the endgame. I have a general idea of what will happen and how, but am still very much along for the ride!
- My writer page has been slightly abandoned over the last week, as I deal with the more immediate concerns of home, family, hospitalization, solo parenting, and recovery. There’s quite a lot to be done, and some things just need to give. I have tried to remember to post up my 750 words stats each day, and links to writing I’ve done (not that much, really).
- I posted to The Unfettered Life with this submission for the Unschooling Blog Carnival. It isn’t as done, well formatted, or picture and link laden as I had hoped, but there was a deadline, and I can always go back , tidy up, and beautify.
- I posted a piece of flash fiction based on the Making a Sandwich prompt at Terrible Minds. “Life in the Sandwiches” drew heavily on my own family life, and I loved writing it.
I will input one of my writing notebooks into Penzu, and clip all materials I would like to pursue further.
- I did manage to get a few pages of my December 1999 Writing Practice Notebook input into Penzu. I am now on page 36 of 141, and will begin the clipping process when I feel ready to do that.
So, I have made some progress. Writing remains my best therapy, aside from being with Jim and seeing that he is getting better.
I’ve completed a goal, and moved forward on others, and have found a mostly workable balance between writing and the rest of life.
And Jim is better. Tomorrow, he is scheduled to have surgery on his broken right hand. So long as things keep improving, he should be able to come home soon.
And then, we will find a new balance that blends around how our life will be, then – in a sense, that vacation he was on his way home to, when he had an accident instead.
All in all, I’m finding that having goals and a plan has helped keep me from flailing, or making excuses not to write. It’s helped me to focus my energy in the rest of my life, too, so that I can do what needs to be done with a minimum of fuss.
And, now, I’m ready to step back into the flow of life….
Folllow my fellow ROWers….
- ROW80 Goals Update #13 – “Pondering Balance” (shanjeniah.com)
- ROW80 Goals Update #9 -”Live Writing” (shanjeniah.com)
- ROW80 Goals Update #9 -”Live Writing” (shanjeniah.wordpress.com)
- ROW80 Goals Update #12 – “Owning It” (shanjeniah.com)
- ROW80 Goals Update#10 – “Expansion and Immersion” (shanjeniah.wordpress.com)