Storms and Rainbows – OctPowriMo, Oct. 4

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Storms and Rainbows

(title inspired by Jeremiah, age 11)

Sometimes

The storm clouds roll through the house,

Chasing away our peace and joy.

There have been times

When such chaos made me feel as though

The fury was forever, and peace

Would never come again.

I thought I needed to stop the storm,

Control its force and direction

Lest we all be destroyed by its power.

I could not see, then

How my yelling and punishing

Only whipped up the winds

And sent the knife-edged rain driving

Into our souls.

Now, I am learning

To let the storms swirl

The lightnings flash

The thunderous tears flow.

When I can settle back,

And allow the emotions to flow

They flow out, and then away,

Leaving us perhaps a little sadder

But free to breathe in the fresh-scrubbed

Clearer life

The storms have left behind.

And the rainbow

Bathes us again

In the dancing colors

Of peace.

********

Nice mom (Jeremiah’s comment, which I do not want to delete, so here it stays.)

Storm clouds and a tree in our friend Sylvia’s yard, NJ, March 2012

 

It’s a blog hop!

 

 

 

13 thoughts on “Storms and Rainbows – OctPowriMo, Oct. 4

  1. shanjeniah says:

    Thanks for the linkback. I peeked at your site, and will read more extensively, later. It seems like my type of quirky!

  2. […] Storms and Rainbows – OctPowriMo, Oct. 4 (shanjeniah.com) Share this:TwitterFacebookEmailTumblrLike this:LikeBe the first to like this. This entry was posted on October 7, 2012, in abuse, depression, perfectionism, relationships and tagged addiction, craving, healing, Love, marriage, Performance, strength, Suicidal ideation. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment […]

  3. Lena Corazon says:

    Ah, this reminds me of my house when my younger sister was living here (and what it feels like when she comes home on holiday, at least on occasion). I love the ending, however, with the storm subsiding and the rainbow of peace reemerging. Lovely note to end on. :D

    • shanjeniah says:

      Lena-

      When I was growing up, these types of storms were a daily (sometimes an hourly) occurrence. Only, I never dared to tell my parents when I thought they were being unfair (and neither did my siblings, usually; the consequences were too painful to risk). Instead, we turned it on each other, and there was a constant vying for status…

      I can remember only one time that my parents were sweet to me after an emotional outburst – and that time, they were using their treatment of me to impress a lesson on two of my siblings (I had confessed to a “wrongdoing” – smashing wild strawberries in the field behind our house when my mother wanted to pick and bake with them – and they had not).

      No matter how unfair or abusive their behavior, they did not apologize. Still don’t, as a matter of fact.

      If they thought I had misbehaved in any way, the punishment was swift and severe. And it didn’t end there. For hours or days, there would be insults and glares and the withdrawal of love and near-constant reminders that I was a horrible child.

      Here, no matter how poorly someone has behaved in a heated moment, we forgive. We reconnect. Usually, everyone can see a way in which they contributed to the problem, and we talk a lot about how to do better, next time. We strategize and cuddle. Everyone here knows they have worth, and that they are essentailly good.

      It makes such a difference!

      I hope things eventually settle with your sister.

  4. whoops I mean image. Sheesh.

  5. Oh! That knife-edged rain…powerful inage, and it falls here, too, sometimes.

    • shanjeniah says:

      Susan –

      Thanks for stopping by!

      I think that knife-edged rain is something that comes with attempting to relate honestly with others…and we are four strong-willed and independent people, all living together in one small house, with two of us gearing up for puberty…some degree of discord is inevitable…

      But we are learning to let it pass, to ease the damage it causes, and to treasure the peaceful moments…

  6. jyllianm says:

    it’s funny to randomly read someone who is probably having the same kind of day/situation you did. I hope it is peaceful now.

    • shanjeniah says:

      Jyllian –

      We have two children fast approaching puberty (faster than their parents were quite ready for, although we are catching up). They are growing so fast, physically and cognitively, right now, that storms seem inevitable…Jeremiah, especially, can lose control very quickly, especially if he’s tired. He’s always had intensity, but the addition of testosterone into the picture is more than he can easily handle yet.

      I do what I can to stay calm and non-reactive, and to help him try to move to something that helps him to settle. Usually, a few minutes in his room, reading or gaming, or listening to the snap circuit radio he built will help – if he’s very tired, he can be asleep almost instantly.

      The day I wrote the poem, both children had big emotions they couldn’t contain, and I was hormonal…not a great combination for dealing gracefully with the situations. We were all angry, and we all showed it in less than kind ways.

      For an hour or so, none of us like each other or ourselves very much…

      We calmed down, eventually, and we all apologized and talked and hugged it out. Since then, there have been storms, but we have weathered them all better than the one the poem is based on.

      I wish you and yours peace, too! And joy. Can’t forget the joy! =D

  7. Beautiful. I feel the emotion that you’ve conveyed so well. Thank you.

    • shanjeniah says:

      Thank you, Annis for all your positive and kind feedback. We’ve had this ritual since we began living together, and, although it’s shifted with our lives over the years…we read less and talk more, or peruse our laptops together, sending each other links, these days. The flow of conversation is often interrupted by the kids, and that’s become OK with us – we like that they like us enough to seek us out and want to be with us.

      I think it’s these simple things that keep intimacy and connection alive.

      Besides, he’s an awesome guy, and a lot of fun to be with. =D

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