Growing Pains: May 24 (oops, 25th!), 2015

ROWin’ and Growin’….

When you were a kid, did you ever experience growing pains? You know, those intense aches in arms and legs that just wouldn’t quit? That made it hard to run and play and – well, be a KID?

I did. My daughter’s having them now – not so much the physical pains, but the almost-eleven-is- just-HARD-to-be-pains….I can commiserate, and hug her lots, and be with her, and give her space, and offer suggestions – but I can’t take the pangs and sting of growing up away. I’ve got no magic want to make her little enough to fit on my lap or in my womb again, and none to make her grown enough to be past this awkward, big-and-little, body-faster-than-the-brain place she’s in right now…

All I can do is love her (imperfectly, because perfect I’m NOT!) while I experience other growing pains she won’t know for decades, yet – the surge of purpose and angst that can come at midlife…when menopause collides with big ideas and new perspectives…

The most important growth is never without discomfort…

My most recent Story a Day tales:

The Big Scoop on what I’ve been up to this week is at Second Serving Sunday!

My updated Round 2 goals, and 2015 goals. 

Color-coding key:

  • Goal attained (for the session, or the round) = blue with overstrike.

  • Goal in progress (for the session or the round) = green.

  • Goal-in-waiting (for the round) = red.

Writing:

Continue Kifo Island Chronicles Series:

  • Sea Changes: (KIC#3): Complete all planning and plotting; ready to go for JuNoWriMo. Reread all background material for the 3 POV characters: Donovan, Ava, and Karina. This is a secondary goal for the rest of the month Next up: Complete Rock Your Plot  Premise Testing Exercises; set plot/pinch points for all.

Draft 31 Story a Day May Trip and T’Pol stories. Use prompts.

  • 22/31 stories drafted, and over 67,0000K new words since the beginning of May. A little behind, right now – the May 22 story is proving both long AND recalcitrant…I’ll keep working on it along with new ones. Next up, drafting remaining 9 daily stories; completing notes and transcription/development for remaining 16 ideas.

Editing:

  • Complete revisions for “Slow Jazz Awakening” and submit. Rereading scenes and notes, compiling revision planning notes; nothing new this session: 2/16 scenes complete. Organic adaptations to general to-do list for next revision pass. Next up: Continue rereading scenes and notes; create revision pass plan.

Blogging:

  • Complete all sponsor visits on time; visit 3 other blog hop and challenge participants each day, on average. Yes!
  • Clean up/update blog sidebar. Nothing new. Next up: Play with some widgets! =D
  • Beginning May 1, a post for each day’s #StaD story. Post stories,snippets, story sparks; or related essays on progress or process. 22/31. Mostly stories and snippets. Next up: Continue, and develop some update posts…like for Mindful Monday.

Hometending:

  • Continue with hometending. At least 5 days weekly; include decluttering and yard projects minimum of 3 days. 6/5 days; 5/3 yard/declutter. Mellow to moderate activity level here, good mix of indoor/outdoor stuff. Next up: Continue this trend, paying attention to my own needs for activity and rest.

Lifetending:

  • Continue one-on-one time with all beloveds; online and in-person writerly socialization; time with friends; social media. Blogs and comments; a bit of Facebook; hangout time with each of my beloveds. Much, much time with a growing-up-is-HARD girl. Next up: More of this and more patience and calmness when I state my needs and feelings. Touched-out is touched-out, but I can be kinder about needing a few minutes’ respite, too, and remember how much I would have loved that, when I was a growing-up girl.
  • Expand and extend in ways that feel natural and challenging without forcing. Try two new things each week. 3/2 new things – planted pansies by the mailbox, wrote my first Mindful Monday post, and started having #onegoodcup. Next up….something new (maybe more pansies – thanks, cold nights!) =(

Selftending:

  • Continue physical activity and exercise – 3 times/week at minimum. 7/3!: Hometending/yardtending each day this session. T’ai chi at home. Next up: More moving; more tending; more exercise; more t’ai chi.
  • Attend t’ai chi weekly. One at-home practice move per week. This week’s move: Cloud Hands. Attended Tuesday class; deep and inspiring. Almost added Thursday class, but sick people in the house, and nocturnal ones, too…Practiced hand movements for Cloud Hands. It’s getting better, still not natural or flowing as much as I’d like it to. Keeping this one, so I can perfect hand motions, and add footwork to the mix. Next up: Possibly attend Thursday class. Practice. Because practice makes better.
  • Meditate/Intentions journal twice weekly. 4 /2: Meditation (t’ai chi and standing meditation; breathing meditation thrice); 2 /2: Intentions Journal exploration and writing. Next up: Cementing Intentions journal habit.

Click the icon to enter the blog hop and ROW away!

The icon is a ROWers’ portal!

The Digging Deep Edition: Second Serving Sunday

A weekly peek backwards and a look ahead, from my little corner of the blogosphereare you ready?

Ever have one of those weeks where things seem – muddled? Not bad, not good – but something else? A time where you feel as though you could get lost in your own deeper places? When you look around, from time to time, startled that something or someone has pulled you back up to the surface?

Yup, that’s me, for most of this week.

It’s partly a reaction to the big events of last week…growth is sometimes exhausting, and often takes more out of us than we realize. When the growth is of the subterranean sort, we need time and space and quiet to understand those deep wordless places within…

Yet, I live with other people. In a house. With pets. And a yard. Laundry, and dishes. Emotions, desires, goals, problems…

So, I go deep, get pulled up, sink down, surface, again and again…

Last Week’s Edition: Big Stuff

  • Click the link for my recent posting history!

Last week’s features:

ROW80: The Writing Challenge That Knows You Have A Life.

  • Naked Growth: I share the Big Thing I did, and some Smaller Things, too.
  • Deepening Roots: The Big Thing brings new depth; time with a treasured friend roots me more strongly in my life.

Eight Sentence Sunday:

WIPpet Wednesday:

  • Spinning:  In the wake of an inexplicable global tragedy with personal implications, Trip’s left spinning out of emotional control.

Coffee and Conversation:

  • Out of Hiding:  After my Big Thing revelation, I explore the consequences of baring it all about – well, baring it all!

SoCS (Stream of Consciousness Saturday):

Story a Day May:

Variety’s Spice (something extra!):

What’s Next:

May Focuses:

  • Complete the Story A Day May Challenge
  • Complete revisions and submit “Slow Jazz Awakening”
  • Resume revisions on “Peach Liqueur Love”
  • Plot Sea Changes: Kifo Island Chronicles #3.
  • Update blog sidebar.

This week, on the blog:

  • For WIPpet Wednesday: New stuff for April – July. I’ll be sharing whatever I’m writing, when I get to Wednesday. This week….another snippet from The IDIC Romance.
  • Eight Sentence Sunday: Eight sentences from the same story as my WIPpet Wednesday post, but probably a little further on…
  • ROW80 Updates: My progress on my current and/or long term goals for A Round of Words in 80 Days, posted on or near Sunday and Wednesday.

In the Wilds of Internet-Land:

And that’s my week, in a nutshell (or a blogpost!). How about you? Dig you sink in any new roots this week? Challenge yourself? Finish a project that’s been nagging you? Start something new? Just relax? Yes, I’m a little nosy. Writer thing. So, if you want to satisfy my perhaps inappropriate curiosity, drop me a line or a few in the box below!

Crocuses in the yard, Spring 2015. Photo by Shan Jeniah Burton.

Out of Hiding?: A Coffee and Conversation Post

When I was six, my family was driving on a highway late at night. Streaks of headlights and taillights painted the dark. For the first time, I realized that each car held people living lives as important to them as mine was to me.

I wanted to know what those lives were, and to share my own.

A week or so ago, I blogged about a question that’s been whirling around in my mind for months, maybe a lot longer…why do I hide when I’ve accomplished something that holds deep personal meaning. Why do I tuck that moment of glory away, rather than sharing it?

I explored a few answers – mostly surface things. And I proactively decided to stand up, at least a little, and lay claim to what I’ve done – not so much for myself, but to honor those who helped me to do it, and to stand for messages and purposes in which I deeply believe.

But, even while I was doing this, I was doing it – well, a little sideways, I guess. Looking at it peripherally, rather than directly. Staying toward the top, rather than delving the deeps, which is more my nature.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that…sometimes, seeing the outer shape of something, or even just the shadow it casts when I shine a light on it, is necessary before I can even start to plumb its depths.

It was scary, doing even that much. Saying, in even that convoluted a way, “Look at me. I do things, and sometimes they’re so damned brave and awesome that I scare myself. I can be brilliant, amazing, strong, and naked before you; I can show you this tiny little glimpse of my vulnerable places.” is a big, Big Deal for me.

Because, once I’ve shown you me – even fifteen-years-ago me, with strategic digital foliage acting as a fig leave of sorts, a shield still to cover my secret places (not just nipples and vulva, but the deeps I’m not yet ready to delve myself, let alone expose to you) – well, there’s no “un-showing”.

If you’ve seen me, that way, it’s now a part of your experience of me. You’ll never again see me totally clothed in my fabric suits of armor or my skin or my words.

You know me better than that, and there’s no hiding place….

And that’s A Big, Scary Deal…

I’ve been living with that, ever since. I know I’ve changed something, given something to the world, to you, and to myself that I can’t take back. There’s no Do-Overs, here. It’s Out There, in the world, even if I have moments when I might rather it wasn’t, that I was still digging my big toe in the dirt and “aww-shucksing” my way out of taking or sharing credit for my sparks of incandescence….

But, when I take a deep breath, I see that something’s happening. It’s a Big Deal, too, this something.

And it isn’t all mine – because what happens when you give something away, offer it up to the world at large, is that people can use it however they want to, however it moves them. I can’t control that, and I don’t want to…

It started with comments. Friends of long standing and more recent, acquaintances, and even a stranger or two, dropped me a line to say they were touched or moved, and sometimes even to share their own experiences. There’s something deeply gratifying in that, in knowing that, from my own home and my own soul, I was able to reach out, share, and connect in a way that was relatable to others…

And then something wonderful happened. Someone who matters deeply to me took that post, and made it her own, blending with other ideas to create something new, something that’s hers, and not mine. It inspired her to grow and shift and look at her own life a little differently, and, by doing that, she began to find new truths and uses for them.

That’s always a little thrill for me, and, if I write these posts to work through my own emotions and life, I share them for this – for the alchemy of how what I experience, think, and feel can affect someone else, be a part of their self-examination, their life. It’s even better when it’s someone who is dear to me.

And better still when that loved one shares a bit of that with me…

And maybe the best when that growth circles back, and catches me up again, and I find myself growing more and more deeply as a result of it.

Now, with the interaction of others, I’m starting to go deeper, understand a little better what I offer, to myself and my beloveds, to my readers, and those I encounter by chance. How none of this could have happened, in this way, if I hadn’t first opened, and shared.

Does this mean that I’m going to share all my accomplishments easily and fully, from now on? Well, probably not – growth is an uneven and often unpredictable process, and everything I achieve isn’t meant to be shared that way. But it does mean that I see more benefit to sharing, now, see more clearly how it stretches and shapes not only my life, but others’, as well.

How about you? Are there things you’ve dared to share that have fed deeper growth, for you and others? Things you’ve considered sharing, but haven’t yet felt ready? I’d love to hear your input; I’ll get you a fresh beverage and a tasty virtual treat of your choice; let’s chat!

 

 

Naked Growth: May 17, 2015

ROWin’ my way through a flowery May! =D

This week, I took a plunge. Not into a swimming pool, or off the deep end, or anything like that….I took a leap of faith – in myself.

That’s right. I screwed together all my daring and bravery, such as it is, and I…

Wrote a blog post. But not just any blog post; one I’ve been putting off for months. One that scared me to write, and to share.

One I knew I needed to write, and share, for just that reason…

It was about the message. I’m the conduit through which the experiences and thoughts traveled. I have a passion for pondering and sharing what’s in my head, my heart, and my soul. The trick is to learn to do that, and be comfortable with letting it go, when it grows bigger than what I myself can contain…

– Excerpted from What Am I Hiding?

I’ve also been happily engaged with home and yardtending, decluttering, planning, writing, engaging with my beloveds, and exploring my inner terrain this session. I feel something shifting and deepening, and that’s always an exciting place to be!

How about you? Are you swelling from the inside out, burgeoning with new growth? In what ways are you blossoming? I’d love to celebrate with you!

Until then, though….on with the update!

My most recent Story a Day tales:

  • Sticking Point: Torn by unanswerable questions, a very drunk Trip Tucker is offered acceptance and healing from an unexpected source.

The Big Scoop on what I’ve been up to this week is at Second Serving Sunday! 

Shrouded Vistas, Sequoia National Park, view from atop Moro Rock, 1997. Photo by Shan Jeniah Burton.

My updated Round 2 goals,  and 2015 goals.

Color-coding key:

  • Goal attained (for the session, or the round) = blue with overstrike.

  • Goal in progress (for the session or the round) = green.

  • Goal-in-waiting (for the round) = red.

Writing:

Continue Kifo Island Chronicles Series:

  • Generations (KIC#2): Continue writing a minimum of 1 scene/week; will be a back burner project till June. No new writing yet; reread the existing three scenes. Next up: Will do a scene and a half each this week and next to catch up.
  • Sea Changes: (KIC#3): Complete all planning and plotting; ready to go for JuNoWriMo. Reread A-Z Stories for Donovan, Ava, and Karina. This goal will be approached piecemeal, for now…Next up: Reread all background material for the 3 POV characters; complete Rock Your Plot Premise Testing Exercises.

Draft 31 Story a Day May Trip and T’Pol stories. Use prompts.

  • 16/31 stories drafted, and almost 44,500 new words since the beginning of May. Have a brainstormed list of topics to develop for next year’s Enterprise – A-Z stories. Percolating for rest of May. Next up, drafting remaining 15 daily stories; completing note transcription/development for remaining 16 ideas.

Editing:

  • Complete revisions for “Slow Jazz Awakening”, using Rock Your Revisionsand submit,  Rereading scenes and notes, compiling revision planning notes: 2/16 scenes complete. Organic adaptations to general to-do list for next revision pass. Next up: Continue rereading scenes and notes; create revision pass plan.

  • Move “Peach Liqueur Love” through Step 3 of Sarah Selecky’s Deep Revision exercises. While rereading the relevant exercises, I discovered that I’ve only completed Step 1 for this story. (I haven’t worked on it since winter, maybe longer). Next up: Exercise #2.

Blogging:

  • Complete all sponsor visits on time; visit 3 other blog hop and challenge participants each day, on average. Still ahead; visits slowed this session.
  • Clean up/update blog sidebar. Updated challenges; explored some new widget ideas. Next up: Play with some widgets! =D
  • Beginning May 1, post for StaD each day – a story; a snippet, a story spark; or an essay on progress or process. 16/31. Next up: Continue, and develop some update posts…like for Mindful Monday.

Hometending:

  • Continue with hometending. At least 5 days weekly; include decluttering and yard projects minimum of 3 days. 6/5 days; 5/3 yard/declutter. Moderate week. Time in master bedroom, Chaos Porch, yard, living and family rooms. Flower beds and front yard. Next up: Continue this trend, paying attention to my own needs for activity and rest.

Lifetending:

  • Continue one-on-one time with all beloveds; online and in-person writerly socialization; time with friends; social media. Blogs and comments; a bit of Facebook; hangout time with each of my beloveds. Next up: More of this.
  • Expand and extend in ways that feel natural and challenging without forcing. Try two new things each week. 2/2 new things – bought pansies on a whim, and listened to my radio interview from March…and I wrote about it! Next up….we’ll see!

Selftending:

  • Continue physical activity and exercise – 3 times/week at minimum. 3/3: Yardtending/decluttering Wednesday- Friday. Next up: More moving; more tending; more exercise; more t’ai chi.
  • Attend t’ai chi weekly. Add one at-home practice move per week. This week’s move: Cloud Hands. Car trouble – no class so far this week. Next up: Possibly attend Thursday class. Practice. Because practice makes better.
  • Meditate/Intentions journal twice weekly. 2 /2: Meditation; 2 /2: Intentions Journal exploration.. Next up: Creating Intentions journal habit.

Click the icon to enter the blog hop and ROW away!

Enter the blog hop by clicking the icon!

Wandering my internal Terrain…view from Moro Rock, Sequoia Nat’l Park, CA, circa 1997. Photo by Shan Jeniah Burton.

The Big Stuff Edition: Second Serving Sunday

A weekly peek backwards and a look ahead, from my little corner of the blogosphereare you ready?

Life Stuff:

Last Week’s Edition: It’s A Tricky Day.  Mother’s Day isn’t a simple day of celebration, for many.

  • Click the link for my recent posting history!

So, it’s been a busy week, but not in a running around sense. As a matter of fact, other than Sunday’s trip out with the kids for tacos, ice cream, and pansies, the one day I did go out, Tuesday, my car started to act funny, and the Check Engine light came on…so I came home, sans t’ai chi and some alone time at Panera.

But being home doesn’t mean nothing’s happening. I did quite a lot of home and yardtending this week. I wrote stories and blog posts, including the one that makes this the week of Big Stuff. I spent lots of time connecting with the three amazing fellow humans I live with.

And some things shifted inside me, in ways I don’t yet have words for…eventually, I will, but not yet. For now, I’ll just say that I’m growing, and leave it at that…

Last week’s features:

ROW80: The Writing Challenge That Knows You Have A Life.

  • No Golden Ring:  When life is more turbulent than joyous, but the world wants you to celebrate…and some writing, too.
  • Grateful Growth:  Wherein I say thank you, and breathe a little more easily (and offer a Trekkish mini-treat!).

Eight Sentence Sunday:

  • “Tiny Flames”:In the aftermath of grief, in T’Pol’s quarters, Trip has a realization, and knows that the time has come.

WIPpet Wednesday:

  • “She is Fierce”: T’Pol wants to go canoeing, with Trip, and against doctor’s advice, and she’s more than a little fiercely insistent.

Coffee and Conversation:

  • What Am I Hiding? At the intersection of modesty and stinginess, I learn to reveal myself for a greater purpose.

SoCS (Stream of Consciousness Saturday):

  • Sticking to the Plan: Sometimes, the best plan you can come up with is to get drunk and avoid certain triggering words and people…

Story a Day May:

  • Get Out Your White Hat: Trip’s been caught red – uhh – lipped, and the tempting new Vulcan on the ship has clearly gotten the wrong idea, and is not amused.
  • Fierce:  One very determined, and very, well, passionate,Vulcan woman, and the man who loves her enough to paddle her canoe.
  • Telling Stories:Trapped in an Everglades lightning storm with a critically ill wife, Trip tries to tell her a story…
  • Don’t Shave:  A drabble (100 word story) that wraps up the Everglades arc…
  • “Private Intercultural Research”: An old Terran book, a watched door, and a different kind of research project.
  • Watching Him:  In a time of mutual emotional turmoil, T’Pol observes Trip, and offers healing.
  • Sticking Point: Torn by unanswerable questions, a very drunk Trip is offered acceptance and healing from an unexpected source.

What’s Next:

May Focuses: (everything now in progress).

  • Complete the Story A Day May Challenge. 
  • Complete revisions and submit “Slow Jazz Awakening”
  • Resume revisions on “Peach Liqueur Love”
  • Plot Sea Changes: Kifo Island Chronicles #3.
  • Update blog sidebar.

This week, on the blog:

  • For WIPpet Wednesday: New stuff for April – July. I’ll be sharing whatever I’m writing, when I get to Wednesday. This week….another snippet from The IDIC Romance….
  • Stream of Consciousness Saturday (SoCS):A post based on the weekly prompt, TBA Friday. Most likely Star Trek: Enterprise fan fiction, this month, because Trip and T’Pol!
  • Eight Sentence Sunday: Eight sentences from the same story as my WIPpet Wednesday post, but probably a little further on…
  • ROW80 Updates: My progress on my current and/or long term goals for A Round of Words in 80 Days, posted on or near Sunday and Wednesday.

In the Wilds of Internet-Land:

And that’s my week, in a nutshell (or a blogpost!). How about you? Did you do anything daring or exciting this week? Challenge yourself? Finish a project that’s been nagging you? Start something new? Just relax?

Yes, I’m a little nosy. Writer thing. So, if you want to satisfy my perhaps inappropriate curiosity, drop me a line or a few in the box below!

What Am I Hiding?: A Naked Coffee and Conversation Post

When I was six, my family was driving on a highway late at night. Streaks of headlights and taillights painted the dark. For the first time, I realized that each car held people living lives as important to them as mine was to me.

I wanted to know what those lives were, and to share my own.

Disclaimer – this post includes nudity and references to nudity. Proceed with full awareness. =)

I’m a regular person – a wife and mom you might not even notice if we passed in the grocery store – and I like it that way. I enjoy anonymity, and have never wanted to be instantly recognizable…

I tend to tuck my achievements into hidden little places where I can explore them covertly. The shy little girl inside me, the girl who was sometimes made much of, if her accomplishments could feed parental pride, ducks its head and digs a toe into the ground every time I reach a goal, or someone compliments me. She learned young to perform in a way that made her more valuable in a home where being valued meant less hitting and yelling directed at her.

But I also received other messages:

  • Don’t toot your own horn.”
  • Don’t get too big for your britches.”
  • Stop fishing for compliments.”
  • Your head’s so big, it won’t fit through the doorway.”

But there’s a good reason to stand up and claim the things I’ve done. If I hide my moments of incandescence and my sparks of brilliance, I’m hoarding them all for myself. It’s stingy. Successes don’t happen in a vacuum. There are always others who play a role, when I achieve something important to me. When I hide my brightest moments, I’m also denying them a chance to shine…

During the last several months, I’ve been paying attention to my times of resistance, and learning how to move forward gradually into a mindset where I can share – not to toot my own horn, but to celebrate, to inspire, to honor not only myself, but also those who helped me to get there.

This February, I entered August McLaughlin’s Beauty of a Woman Blog Fest for the third time. I love the message, and the challenge of finding the beauty in the feminine in a way that embraces the universal. This year, I took a step further, into daring new terrain, and also submitted my post, A Naked Conversation, to the Girl Boner Edition of #BOAW. Girl Boner is a platform for sexual health and body acceptance, both things which are increasingly important to me as a woman and as the mother of two children entering or approaching puberty.

I wrote the post, even though it was scary. I included a nude image (edited so as not to mortify my teenager!), and discussed it with my Accomplice before I hit “Publish”. I felt that was my victory – sharing something so naked and intimate, giving it to the world.

Excerpt from A Naked Conversation:

The social barriers fell away, that day, and we were two people, genuinely sharing. Two people who might never have connected, if we were wearing our respective suits of fabric armor.

Bare skin has greater powers than the ability to attract prospective partners…

Baring skin can lead to baring souls. To realizing that we’re all connected, beneath the layers of identity we don to get through our lives.

Nude Portrait of the Elemental Writer as a Younger Woman

I didn’t expect to win a prize -just to share some profound personal experiences that have shaped my life. I certainly didn’t expect to be offered the opportunity to read the post aloud and discuss it in a very public forum – a guest slot on August’s Girl Boner Radio show – that’s a whole other kind of being naked, after all!

A part of me wanted to to hide, to dig in my big toe. But I squared my shoulders, took a deep breath, and agreed, because it wasn’t about me, really. It was about the message. I’m the conduit through which the experiences and thoughts traveled. I have a passion for pondering and sharing what’s in my head, my heart, and my soul. The trick is to learn to do that, and be comfortable with letting it go, when it grows bigger than what I myself can contain…

The interview, which appears as part of Asexuality and A Naked Conversation, was terrifying and exhilarating – something like writing the original post. August is so warm and open, and I was so happy to have her voice in my house, talking to me, that I relaxed, and it was more like just chatting with a friend, sharing my insights about something that mattered to us both.

Afterward, I was so shy about having done such a daring thing (a way bigger thing for me than being publicly naked!), that I didn’t listen to the interview I gave in early March until mid-May.

More – I really didn’t talk about it, except in bits and pieces, little shafts of sunlight that quickly faded again.

Until now.

I can’t say that I’m ready, or exactly comfortable. I can’t claim that my big toe isn’t grubby from dirt-digging. But here I am, claiming my words and the accomplishment that comes with it. Celebrating August and her bravery and mission. And, do you know what?

I’m going to do it again. And soon!

Because there’s something selfish in hiding….something that cheats others out of the chance to find something valuable, something they can use, in my experiences and struggles.

How about you? What do you struggle with? What daring moves have you made? Have you claimed them? Shared them? I’ll pour you another cuppa; let’s chat!

Click to read more BOAW Girl Boner posts!

No Golden Ring: May 10, 2015

ROWing on through the deeps…

 

Do you know that feeling of forgetting something important? The way it niggles and tickles at memories, shifts your mood, makes the obstacles in life loom a little higher, and the summits feel a little less inspirational and uplifting, until, all at once, you realize what it is?

That’s me, this week.

  • Maybe I should have known right off, when four out of my seven #StaD stories this week had to do with babies.

  • Or when the ‘museum image’ prompt led me straight to a rocking chair that presented itself to me as a cradle….

  • Or when I realized that it’s Mother’s Day week, and I’m the mom of two healthy children- and one who died at 12 days old.

No matter what we might wish, some things are harder to live with than others. Some days, however joyous, carry an edge of raw pain that never truly fades…and that’s part of living. I’ve laughed today, and cried, and felt both nurtured and very alone…so I took my living children out for tacos and ice cream, and we bought milk and frozen pizza and cupcakes and a beefsteak tomato and pansies like my Gramma and Grandpa had when I was little…

Sometimes, you don’t get the golden ring – but you still get to ride the carousel, even if it makes you dizzy.

My four most recent Story a Day tales:

  • Apples and Peanut Butter:  Just a sweet little piece about pregnancy cravings and graphic novels….
  • Unsettled: When reality defies logic, unsettled emotions can overrule even Vulcan discipline.
  • Phoenix Time:  Something very strange is happening with Trip and T’Pol…
  • Something… Trip knows there’s something very wrong with T’Pol, and he searches for clues in her quarters.

My updated Round 2 goalsand 2015 goals.

Color-coding key:

  • Goal attained (for the session, or the round) = blue with overstrike.

  • Goal in progress (for the session or the round) = green.

  • Goal-in-waiting (for the round) = red.

Writing:

Continue Kifo Island Chronicles Series:

  • Each day in May, engage in playful StaD exploration of this world, using all or part of the day’s prompts for any stories or fragments that appear. 3 /9 done. Sunday; Monday’s and Tuesday’s percolating. Next up: I’ve decided to delete this goal -it doesn’t feel right for this story, or my mood. I want to give myself to my “official” project.
  • Generations (KIC#2): Continue writing a minimum of 1 scene/week; will be a back burner project till June. Scene 3/24 complete; 6,481/~50Kwords. Percolating scene 4. Next up: Keep going…
  • Sea Changes: (KIC#3): Complete all planning and plotting; ready to go for JuNoWriMo. This will happen piecemeal, for now…beginning with rereading all background material and stories for the POV characters.

Draft 31 Story a Day May Trip and T’Pol stories. Use prompts.

  • 9/31 stories drafted, and over 22,000 new words since the beginning of May, with the prompts taking me in directions I wouldn’t have gone, else; notes for 15/31 stories transcribed/revised. Created list for the undeveloped ideas breeding like tribbles; will continue to update roughly daily. This is my primary focus until the challenge is completed; focusing on transcriptions that are candidates for the current day’s prompt. Next up, drafting remaining 22 daily stories, completing note transcription/development for remaining 16 ideas, and adding to idea list.

Nautilus shell rocker – a cradle in my story, “Unsettled” – which is exactly how I’m feeling right now.

Editing:

  • Complete revisions for “Slow Jazz Awakening” and submit. Rock Your Revisions;. Highlighting/comments complete for 16/16 scenes. Began general to-do list for next revision pass -will continue organically, from here. Delete’ snippets to IDIC slush pile, tagging those destined for future stories; 4/16 scenes complete. Next up: Complete Step One of the general plan…move all ‘delete’ snippets for remaining 12 scenes.

  • Move “Peach Liqueur Love” through Step 3 of Sarah Selecky’s Deep Revision exercises. Reread original story, early revision notes, and first two completed exercises. Next up: Reread relevant exercises; and do Exercise #3.

Blogging:

  • Complete all sponsor visits on time; visit 3 other blog hop and challenge participants each day, on average. 0/3 Wednesday; way more than three the rest of the week. On average, I’m ahead. Next up: cement this into habit country by targeting likelier days/times for visiting.
  • Clean up/update blog sidebar. Updated challenges; explored some new widget ideas. Next up: Play with some widgets! =D
  • Beginning May 1, post for StaD each day – a story; a snippet, a story spark; or an essay on progress or process. All caught up, and will stay that way. Next up: Continue, and develop some new posts…like for Mindful Monday

A little bit tangled, emotionally speaking…

Hometending:

  • Continue with hometending. At least 5 days weekly; include decluttering and yard projects minimum of 3 days. 5/5 days; 4/3 yard/declutter. Moderate yard/general hometending/declutter/laundry on Wednesday; mellow rest of week. Tired and emotionally tangled…and I fell on the dog. Next up: Continue this trend, paying attention to my own needs for activity and rest.

Lifetending:

  • Continue one-on-one time with all beloveds; online and in-person writerly socialization; time with friends; social media. Blogs and comments; a bit of Facebook; hangout time with each of my beloveds, although it was a week with some friction. Next up: More of this – not all moments are ‘perfect’.
  • Expand and extend in ways that feel natural and challenging without forcing. Try two new things each week. 0/2 new things. Or maybe one – that I allowed my feelings to direct my activity level. Next up….we’ll see!

Selftending:

  • Continue physical activity and exercise – 3 times/week at minimum. 3/3: Yardtending/decluttering Sunday. T’ai chi and lots of walking on Tuesday. Next up: More moving; more tending; more exercise; more t’ai chi.
  • Attend t’ai chi weekly. Add one at-home practice move per week. This week’s move: Cloud Hands. Watched two videos. No actual practice. Next up: Practice. Because practice makes better.
  • Meditate/Intentions journal twice weekly. 2 /2: Meditation; t’ai chi. 0 /2: Intentions Journal. Next up: Cement meditation habit; catch up with Intentions journal.

Blog Hop Portal:

An Unsettled View….